No escape from reality, but it needn't all be grim

WHEN I read that someone wanted to open an escape room in Salisbury I thought “What an inspired idea.”
Naturally, I’d got the wrong end of the stick.
I imagined it would be like a retreat – a place where middle-aged women like me who have perfectly comfortable lives but are prone to grumpy fits and get easily stressed for no good reason could escape for a few hours’ luxurious R&R.
A world full of loveliness and yoga and floaty white costumes where everybody’s nice to everybody else and the sun’s always be shining and we lounge around elegantly in the shade of a cool fountained courtyard surrounded by exotic blooms and sip Earl Grey from bone china cups and just smile beatifically. You know the kind of thing. You see it in adverts. Dreamland, I believe it’s called.
As opposed to same-old Salisbury on a very grey  afternoon, which is when I’m writing this.
That’s the trouble with escaping, of course. When you’ve finished, the real world’s still there and it’s got to be dealt with.
Not that reality is without its lighter moments.
The turf war that appears to have erupted within the Church of England provided one of those recently.

With an honorary assistant bishop from Winchester reported to have crossed the border into our Diocese to commission a new church, and a miffed Bishop of Salisbury “seeking clarification” of the breach of protocol, it all sounds tremendously exciting.
The establishment in Salisbury seem to think we’ve got quite enough Anglican churches already, thank you very much, while at the upstart Christ Church, the Rector begs to disagree, telling the Church Times there’s “lots of room for Christ’s Kingdom to grow” and he hopes there’ll be more new churches to come.
Hee hee! Unholy joy! This one could run and run.
But anyway, back where I started, I’d completely misunderstood what escape rooms are about. Apparently they’re a big hit worldwide, and what we’re going to have is four ex-detectives running a venue where teams of adults immerse themselves in solving clues and riddles, working against the clock to free themselves from a locked room.
Sounds like fun – I’d certainly give it a go - and it could be a great new attraction for the city. Maybe some of our guest houses and hotels could join forces with the organisers to offer package deals, encouraging visitors to spend more time and money here. Good luck, guys.