Wiltshire's youth policy drawn up on the back of a fag packet

HOW’S this for political opportunism?
Imagine you’re Trowbridge Tory Laura Mayes. Not easy, in my case, I admit.
Imagine you’ve been insisting there’s no more money for the youth service, only for your party to realise belatedly what a disaster this is turning out to be in both PR and practical terms.
It must seem like a blessed miracle when an extra £300,000 is suddenly fished out from down the back of a sofa to get you out of trouble.
Headline-wise, you don’t have to look like such a bunch of meanies after all.
Of course, trumpeting this convenient windfall is not to be construed as an acknowledgement that you might have got your initial calculations a teensy bit wrong.
And there’s no need to mention that chunks of it were raised by ‘the kids’ themselves through their youth club fees and fundraising events.
In other words, that they were helping to pay for their own fun before you stopped all that. That morally speaking, it’s their money already.
And there’s certainly no need to highlight that it won’t be spread about evenly across the county.
Or that there’ll be no more top-ups next year.
It’s just, well ………. jolly handy, and let’s all stop carping and be glad about something for once.
Onward and upward to a glorious, ‘community-led’ future.
Meanwhile, who’s left to pick up the pieces and provide constructive outlets for young people’s energies after this latest example of ‘robustly scrutinised’ back-of-a-fag-packet policy making?
Why, the bemused members of our area boards, who had no idea they were joining the salvage industry when they stood for election, aided by the few remaining Wiltshire Council professionals who have a clue about what proper youth work actually requires.
And that’s a bit more than a game of table football in the parish hall.
Last night Salisbury’s board members were meeting privately to discuss how they will cope with this unlooked-for responsibility.
I don’t envy them. Meaning no disrespect, most of them would probably admit to a pretty hazy grasp of current youth culture.
They’re not trained for the job of organising activities for teenagers, especially the stroppy ones most in need of help.
They’ll need to ensure that the volunteers who run them on a day-to-day basis are suitable.
And they can’t afford to pay someone to take the burden from their shoulders.
But they’re all we’ve got. I really do wish them the best of luck.

Forgive me if councils have made me cynical

WHEN is empire building not empire building?
It all seems to depend on whose empire you’re talking about and what you stand to gain.
I seem to recall that resentment was widespread not so many years ago when Wiltshire Council seized our district council’s assets, then set about redistributing them and ‘harmonising’ services for everyone else’s benefit except ours.
Since then I’ve asked myself many times what on earth our district councillors were doing that prevented them from seeing this disaster on the horizon.
Bickering about the cost of Bourne Hill? Distracted by the expensive repercussions of that row over whether to build a multi-storey on the central car park? Remember that?
Wondering how on earth they were going to meet the old regional assembly’s lunatic house-building targets without every hillside on the horizon disappearing under concrete?
Or simply resting their eyelids over their agenda papers?
Well, a handful of those old stalwarts are still around on the city council. And what has this emasculated body learnt from the experience?
Oh yes, let’s see if we can annexe all the little parish councils around us, whether they ask us to or not, and we’ll get lots more lovely council tax.
Wiltshire have asked us if there’s anywhere we’ve taken a fancy to, so they can’t blame us.
We won’t go bothering Wilton because they’re a) more historic and b) stroppier than us, and what’s more their mayor, town clerk and one of their councillors too all turned up at the Guildhall to keep an eye on our deliberations. No use picking a fight that we probably wouldn’t win.
But what about Laverstock & Ford? Despite all those green bits it’s got new housing going up all over the place.
With a population growing at that rate, and our higher tax precept, it’d be a nice little earner. After all, they use our crematorium, don’t they?
What’s that you say? They don’t want to be taken over? Don’t want to be charged more for the privilege? Say we never asked for their opinion?
Now where have I heard that before?

What's Richard III got to do with Wiltshire's fire service?

A WEEK or so ago you'd have found me in central London, enthralled by Martin Freeman’s blackly comic portrayal of Richard III.
In an attempt to make the plot more accessible to audiences who have no idea about the dynastic machinations of the 15th century but would quite like to see that nice man from Sherlock or The Hobbit, this production is set in the imagined aftermath of a more recent ‘winter of discontent’, in the late 1970s.
Instead of medieval castles the action takes place in a conference room, with the ruthlessly ambitious Duke of Buckingham played as a spin doctor.
It isn’t subtle. Explosions, stranglings and drownings keep things moving swiftly on, and the stage is awash with gore.
Amidst it all, Freeman is a coolly calculating little monster, mentally inspecting the pros and cons of every horror he is about to commit and concluding with a nonchalant shrug and a conspiratorial nod to the audience as if to say: “Oh well, it’s got to be done.”
Which of course is true, if you accept his initial premise that the acquisition and retention of power by any means is all that matters.
I think we know where this is going, don’t we?
I commend this production to anyone concerned that firefighters will lose their jobs (though not, in these relatively enlightened times, their heads) if Wiltshire Council’s boardroom warriors have their way.
Having deposed one brave chairman who refused to toe the party line, and dumped a public consultation document by our fire chief and his Dorset oppo, who want to combine forces, they are now, belatedly, asking us what we think.
No guarantee that they’ll take any notice, but it’s a start.
The fire chiefs say a merger will save millions, with a minimum of frontline bloodletting. They’ve drawn up a business case that shows how it’ll work.
Dorset’s voters, who are also being consulted, are being shown the details. For reasons best known to our councillors, we’re not.
Anyway, that’s Scenario 3 in the consultation.
You get there after wading through Scenarios 1 and 2, both of which save less money, give Wiltshire Council (‘critical decisions taken locally’) more to meddle in, and mean fewer boots on the ground, fewer fire stations, and slower response times.
In an emergency, I know which option I’d prefer.
If you’re in any doubt, do what the council bosses do and ask yourself: What’s in it for me?
Lives could depend on the outcome of this consultation. You can take part online at www.wiltsfire.gov.uk/strengtheningourfrs or pick up a leaflet at your library or council offices.